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This is how I feel right now, a long trail of ellipses, unfinished, in limbo. After my year off, now turning into two years off, I haven't accomplished a thing in terms of figuring out what I want to do with my life. I haven't come any closer to deciding whether or not med school is right for me, although I had fooled myself into pretending I had given up that path earlier this year. I am resenting myself for not being strong enough to commit to one decision, for not knowing myself better, and I am resenting my parents for not supporting alternative decisions. I hate myself for not taking advantage of my time off and doing the things I love--drawing, writing, reading, playing music--with passion and full commitment. I am making excuses for myself, feeling pathetic and wallowing in self-pity.
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